Tantric Massage Groups
One of the most powerful groups I've ever been a part of was with six women and twelve men. One thing that meant was that each woman participant got to have more than one man massaging her at a time.
These workshops begin with me explaining the order of the workshop for that evening, which is usually meditation, chanting and demonstration of the massage, then partnering, and finally, practice, practice and more practice.
Every woman ends up being with every man, and vice versa. In this particular group, it was most interesting to experience the group's disconnection to total union. What keeps most of us apart is our judgment of others (and ourselves). If and when we find a common ground, we quickly connect. Our souls thrive on attachment. It's not that we don't want to be together. We're just too afraid of being hurt. Reconnecting with our bodies and loving ourselves gives us a new responsibility-not to expect another to be what we can be to ourselves, i.e., being your very best friend and lover.
In this group, the energy felt so cold in the beginning that I was concerned I wouldn't be able to carry it over to the other side. After discussing the plan for the evening, I began to disrobe and invited everyone else to follow suit. You should have seen the men looking at each other to see who was going to be the first to disrobe. The women, on the other hand, were naked in a matter of seconds. The space was made sacred with prayer sage and incense. We began the Om chant to connect the group. I demonstrated the massage on one person, and then partnered off everyone in the group so they could practice the massage on each other.
As I mentioned before, because of the numbers, the women all had two men massaging them. In the beginning, the hardest thing for the men was to be able to give touch to a woman without sexualizing. Every man had an erection. That was simply fine, a blessing. The problem the men had was staying focused on giving touch, instead of whatever arousal they themselves were receiving in the process. I instructed the women to stop the touching if they began to feel uncomfortable.
The art in touching is the giving. You touch to give love to the receiver. You give for the gift of giving, with no expectations of getting.
One of the biggest complaints women have with men is that they feel nothing from men in their touches. They feel that men don't touch them to please them. Instead, men often touch women focused on the pleasure of touching them. In this way, a man steals energy from a woman.
With constant supervision of the touching, I began to really hear the problem: We don't know how to touch. We don't know how to give. We don't know how to love. The nerve-racking feel of performance anxiety and sexualizing was filling in the room. I was able to interrupt the mood by breaking up the partners often. Then I would explain the process in thought as well as in touch over and over again. I used women as well as men to demonstrate the techniques. It was important for the others to see the massage done in many different ways and specific to each gender. A man can't figure out how to caress a yoni if I'm stroking a lingam, and vice versa for the women.
Then, one of the men caught on and simply became the giver. He gently stroked his partner without concern as to whether he was "doing it right" or not. He just thought of her body being a holy temple, and was sending her a love vibration. When this occurred, the woman reported feeling loved by this person she did not know.
The other participants became excited by the possibility of having the same experience. The energy felt warmer in the heart sense and everyone began to relax. At this point, I had everyone receiving touch exhale a long "ahh," as they felt aroused. This continued to increase the energy of pleasure and then freedom. Switching partners gave the participants the opportunity to feel different sexual vibrations and to sense the need of the receiver. People began to know without thinking where to touch.
Next was a group chakra wave train, where we lay man-between-woman until every person was being touched, and we were all riding a wave together, through the chakra colors. The sweating mass of bodies became one, with all rocking in unison. The group arousal heightened to the point of several of the men having orgasms. This excited the group and the connection to each other grew closer and closer. There was no oral or sexual intercourse. Nonetheless the desire for intercourse was a great vibration to use in maintaining the group connection. Women were being stimulated at the hood of their yoni, and some were being stroked all over. The men were at full attention, blessing everyone with their strong erections and laying them upon the women while stroking and being stroked everywhere. The openness that flooded through the room when the first man ejaculated gave such a release in the room that others had to follow! I myself was being stimulated at my nipples and having orgasms galore. I finally was able to come back for one last change, regrouping everyone in partners.
It was tremendously exciting when I paired one of the most handsome men with the oldest woman in the room. When these two individuals got together, every other vibration in the room ceased to exist. At first, I wasn't aware of what was being created by these two. I was circling the group to ensure that the energy maintained itself in a sacred place. The honor of every soul in that room was important. Suddenly, I heard "ah ah," and I turned to find the young man intent in the act of giving to this wise older woman. She was lifting her body and flailing her arms in appreciation of his touch. Soon the group stopped completely, and watched the ascent of the couple. The man was not removing his eyes or hands from her, and seemed to be communicating with her, following her every desire.
He was truly giving to her, and she surrendered to the energy. Her yells increased as she orgasmed. It only aroused the other participants even more. What a blessing it was to witness that matching. What at first seemed unequal became whole. The experience left everyone with a sense of belonging and trust, and a desire for more-more healing, more evolution, more love.