Out of Balance
This is a story of the need for attention. The problem centered around a lack of sexual esteem. The result involved a price - one paid for by unbalanced energy and impatience.
Georgette began seeing me because her husband had left her for another woman. He told her that she was no longer "sexy" to him. The trauma this caused left her unable to feel sexual or be sexual with herself or anyone else. Georgette needed to begin a new relationship with her body. She needed to love herself again.
We created a body affirmation she could say to herself everyday. She also had to start looking at herself and learning the various parts of her vaginal anatomy. She didn't understand this in the beginning, but her power ultimately lay in her pussy. She had given her power to her husband, and when he left, he took her power with him. We had to get it back, and these steps were a way of achieving that. Georgette asked, "Can't you just help me get a man? I'll get my power back that way."
"No," I said. "That wouldn't be exercising your power - that's a man telling you again that you are approved. You must approve yourself, Georgette. Then when you choose to bless a man by letting him into your vagina, he'll feel your power!"
Eventually, Georgette began to feel much better about herself. She was dressing nicer and doing her hair differently. She learned how to masturbate, and had recently experienced an orgasm for the first time.
"It never felt like that with my husband," she said. "I don't think I ever had one before. I just think I was glad he did and that made me feel real good."
"Your body felt good because your mind told you that his satisfaction was the meaning of good sex."
Most women don't realize that they enjoy sex on a very deep vaginal level.
In one session, I asked Georgette to masturbate to see if she could share her orgasm with me. She was surprised and looked hesitant. I told her that if she was relaxed and self-assured enough to do this, she wouldn't lose this new connection with herself when she began a sexual relationship with a man.
Georgette proceeded to lie back nude on the mat and rub herself and moan. As she touched herself more she started to rock and breathe harder. I felt happy for her that she was so alive. Her body rocked. She stuck her fingers into her vagina and rubbed her clitoris with her palm. She began to rise up as she moaned with pleasure at her own touches. Watching her, I began to feel aroused. She pulled her fingers out of her vagina and pressed both of her hands over her pussy and bumped her box on her hard hands. Then she changed direction and moved her hands to her breasts. She started squeezing her nipples. She said "Yes," taking deeper breaths. She moved back over her pussy and ground her fists over herself until she yelped with passion and, finally, peaceful splendor.
She was very happy with herself after this session. I was proud of her courage and dedication. At the next session, Georgette told me that she had met someone and had sex with him, and she couldn't stop having sex. She loved how her body felt and she didn't want the feelings to stop. She asked me if I wanted her to masturbate again. I told her no, that she needed to balance her sexual energy so that she didn't become too unhealthy sexually. She had gone from sexual starvation to gluttony.
Georgette laughed and said, "My ex-husband wants me back now, too." You did it, Reverend Charmaine! Thank you so much for helping me."
"Georgette, thank you. I'm so happy for you. I believe you should now schedule monthly sessions and work on balancing your new beautiful vibration."
"No," she said. "I don't think I will. I don't want to lose what I've got now."
She left.
I finally heard from Georgette again. She called and asked for a session, and I scheduled her. When she came in she looked just as good as she did at the end of our last session.
"How can I help you?" I asked her.
"Well," she sighed, "I left here a year ago and finally got back with my husband. For a while I kept seeing other men as well." She looked up at me.
"Continue," I said.
"Then I caught herpes from someone and I gave it to my husband. Of course, he left me again, and this time he called me a whore! Now I'm scared and I don't know what to do."
"Now you know how to access your body for personal power," I said. "But what you need now, Georgette, is not bodywork, but psychotherapy, so you can fully understand why you're in the situation you're in now. I'll be happy to assist you afterwards, once you begin sessions with a therapist. I have a name and number of someone that could help."
She said she'd think about it, but I never heard from her again.