I'm fond of saying that an afternoon of sacred spot work is like two years of talk therapy. Sacred spot massage and manipulation is a healing modality that can be used to clear emotional blocks in women. With proper instruction, a woman may move quickly and powerfully through the issues that prevent her from exuberantly enjoying her sexual, sensual nature. There is also the potential for experiencing full-body orgasm. I've attempted to describe my own experience, and words are weak, but as close as I can get is that I became aware of a pulsating, outward expansion of all that exists, and for a few minutes I entered into this movement, this sensation, with every cell in my body and every aspect of my being. Full-body orgasm is a profound and spiritual occurrence that can be transformational and healing.
Sacred spot has also been called the "G" spot, so named after Dr. Ernest Grafenberg who wrote in 1950 an article about his discovery of this area of the female body. It has actually been known and written about since ancient times, and is well described in eastern texts. Grafenberg's article is quite hilarious from our current vantage point and can be read in its entirety at the web site www.doctorg.com.
The manipulation of a woman's sacred spot is a most intimate and privileged act. It should be approached with a sense of exploration and awe. Keep in mind that it may take several sessions before a couple can feel that they are beginning to understand the power of the work and experience results. Over time, though, and with the same partner, it is a precious gift for releasing blocks that keep a woman from enjoying sexual encounters. If she has experienced trauma in her sexual or relationship history and her sacred spot is intentionally stimulated for healing, she may remember inappropriate touching, undesired intercourse, or other sexual or emotional trauma. Unresolved issues around abortion, miscarriage, medical exams and childbirth may be present. Sacred spot is like a map of a woman's sexual history to date. The work may also trigger fantasies, past life images, birth trauma and repressed childhood sexual abuse memories. The work is also useful for simply reducing the tension and stress from our busy lives.
A session involving sacred spot work can be one of reflowering. This can remove negative imprints from her first sexual experience, so that more positive sexual memories can come forward in her life. The sexual system, located in the second chakra, is the most vulnerable to being shut down by our life traumas. This results in a diminishment of life force throughout the entire body and being. It is rare that a woman has not experienced some form of sexual mistreatment, intrusion or harassment. None of us get ideal information about our sexuality and our bodies. We all -- both men and women -- suffer from the demeaning and violent images of women that are prevalent in our culture. Sacred spot massage begins to remove these layers of distress.
Obviously, there is much to learn prior to attempting sacred spot manipulation. Among many good resources and educators, Charles and Caroline Muir (www.sourcetantra.com) are excellent teachers. Here are some general guidelines to work with.
For the facilitator to find the sacred spot, begin with the ring or middle finger. Think of how you might locate the mass of nerve endings behind the clitoris. Insert the finger straight into the vagina (yoni), towards the cervix. Then withdraw to the second knuckle and curl the finger back towards yourself in a "come here" gesture all the way forward to the front wall of the vagina, behind the pubic bone. Your finger should be about 1.5 - 2 inches inside at this point. You are seeking a spot that can be anywhere from the size of a dime to a silver dollar, depending on the size of the woman. The spot can expand with attention, and can stay larger over time with manipulation. Mine has grown from the size of a dime to about the size of a quarter. There can be a rougher or wrinkly-feeling texture to the spot. The correlating body part in the male anatomy is the scrotum. Firm upward pressure is necessary to begin experiencing emotional discharge, and there are several movements that aid expression and release, which are described later in this article.
When the spot is first touched, the woman may feel an urge to urinate. This sensation should pass quickly. Many women report having a pleasure point and a tender point on the spot, sometimes directly opposite each other. As you may have guessed, the tender point is the place to work to gain emotional release. Maintain an attitude of adventure and exploration and remember that you will get better with practice.
Cleanliness, gentleness and patience are of primary importance. Fingernails should be closely trimmed and smooth.
You can't use too much of a good lubricant. Place towels to protect linens. Perceive your woman as a goddess and a representative of the divine feminine force. Treat her with the respect and honor that she deserves.
Do not set orgasm as a goal for her.
Lead up to entry into her yoni with gently stroking and holding. Ask permission to enter her most intimate, interior space to begin the spot massage.
Be there for her, no matter what the experience is.
Remind her to breathe if she holds her breath. There is a Tantric practice called connecting breath that is very useful for this work.
Reassure and comfort her with your presence. State often to her, "I am right here for you," "It's OK to feel that." Let her hear that "It's OK." You can ask her what phrases she needs to hear before the session starts.
Do not take anything that is said during a release process personally. Do not take on blame or get in "fixer" mode. Do your own deep breathing to overcome your fear of her strong emotions. Remember that the emotions that arise do not have to make sense. Allow them to simply be present.
Maintain eye contact often -- ask her for eye contact. Don't let her sink into herself. Many women hold the wounded belief that there is no one that can help, that she has to do it all by herself.
State your intentions and goals for the session to your partner. You are a team and are working toward creating sexual wholeness in your relationship.
Receiving is a gift that you give your partner. He wants to assist you in this release process and help you clear anything that is in the way of your full sexual enjoyment.
You determine how much love, pleasure and enjoyment you can allow yourself. Open to the gifts of deep healing.
Heavy emotional energy may be present at times. Rage, deep sadness and intense fear can arise. Do your best to relax into any unpleasant feelings and allow them to be released. If you feel you have hit a wall and don't want to go any further, know that locating the block is part of the healing. You can return to the process in a future session.
Suppressed rage prevents us from experiencing passion. I believe that as we do our work individually, we are also healing the deep wounds that exist in our culture between men and women. Hold the intention of healing not just for yourself, but also for all people on the planet. This is extremely powerful and needed work.
Stay connected with your facilitator. Open your eyes and take in the loving gaze and presence.
Communicate your needs and feelings in a way that is not critical or blaming.
You can work with your issues in increments. You have developed these blocks over an entire lifetime. Be gentle and patient with yourself in moving through them.
After entering the yoni, hold steady upward pressure on sacred spot, without movement, as you become energetically connected. Stroke toward the entrance of the vagina with a "come here" movement, using firm upward pressure. The receiver should instruct the facilitator on the amount of pressure that she feels would bring release. It may seem beyond what is comfortable, but that is how release can begin.
Experiment with different strokes. Slowly try a "windshield washer" movement, using wrist motion to inscribe a crescent shape. Work with tapping motions on various points on and around sacred spot. You can also circle the spot, clockwise and counter-clockwise. Clear communication is of primary importance in finding the proper style of manipulation. The areas of discomfort can shift around from session to session.
When a tender area is discovered, go into it gently and explore. You don't have to create physical pain or discomfort, but go deeply enough for the receiver to feel and own the sore or numb spots. These spots are blessings in disguise and indicate the areas that will bring forward the most powerful healing experiences.
Map the pleasurable areas and make note of the painful and numb areas. You can even create pathways from a pleasurable area to a tender one after the discharge of emotions has occurred.
Both participants can work with the concept of moving the flow of energy that is generated in the first and second charkas up the body. When sexual energy or kundalini is moved upward, it awakens consciousness and brings healing and regeneration. It is a very powerful healing force and can also be used to attain a state of enlightenment, especially when full-body orgasm occurs.
The clitoris can be gently stimulated with the thumb while sacred spot work is being performed. This may bring orgasm or further emotional release.
Several hand positions or "mudras" are recommended for slowing discharge or reconnecting after deep emotional content has been cleared. The yoni may be gently cupped, with the fingers curled on the sacred spot, and the palm of the hand against the clitoral area. The rest of the palm conforms to the external mound of the yoni. This is a very comforting placement of the hand. The facilitator's other hand may be placed over the pubic bone in the lower abdomen, covering the area of the womb. Fingers are placed pointing down, with gentle downward pressure towards sacred spot. This helps anchor the energy and is useful if the emotions seem to be getting dangerously out of control or hysterical.
Actually, hysteria can be quite useful in releasing huge blocks of held energy very quickly. The facilitator must gage whether or not it is being productive and guide his lady in using connecting breath to keep the energy moving. He may use the mudras and verbal requests to calm down if he feels endangered in any way. It is hard, as a woman, to let go of concern about how this wild emotional release is affecting our lover, but keep in mind that he is responsible for his own responses to the experience, and notice that this can be a point of healing co-dependence or inappropriate concern for other's emotional states.
Emotional patterns that are very childlike may come up, as much of our woundedness occurs in childhood. The facilitator must remember that communication during the release of these patterns does not have to make sense or be "true." His job is to listen with love, not to interrupt, try to correct information or solve any problems. He can continually offer assurance in the form of loving eye contact and phrases like, "I'm right here for you now -- we can feel this together," and "I understand why you feel this way." Encouragement to continue is often appropriate because the biggest patterns are the hardest to move through. The receiver may want to stop as things intensify and this is the exact point where deep healing can occur. Confusion may arise about just what the feelings are. There can be so many, that they cannot all be identified. It is important that the receiver not go into her story about what took place, but rather to just experience the feelings, which she may not have been able to do as that small child. Whatever is happening, it is the facilitator's place to give assurance that it's all OK and encourage her to keep going.
The time after sacred spot work can be especially sweet. It's wonderful to lie in each other’s arms and talk about what happened. The woman may share content of what was occurring for her in her mind and body as the release took place. I personally experience a lightness of being that is hard to describe, but so precious. It can last for several days after sacred spot work. I also often have awareness and revelations arise in the days following the work that give me more insight into my continuing emotional and spiritual evolvement.
In all the years that I have been on my own healing journey, I have studied and embraced many modalities to assist me along the way. Sacred spot work is by far the most profound and useful tool I've found. It is also an amazing bonding experience between lovers and assists our men in much deeper understanding of who we are and what we have been through, both individually, and collectively, as womankind. The presence of the Divine Holy Mother comes forward during this work. She sends support and grace to us and holds the vision of our complete and perfect healing. The individual healing of each of us as women promotes the healing of all women. It is a true blessing and a deep privilege each time sacred spot work is entered into by lovers.
All text contained herein copyrighted © 2006 to Jade Beaty and sensualwisdom.com. Neither this article, nor any excerpts from it may be reproduced without written permission of the author.