WHAT IS SEXUAL HEALING?

The purpose of sexual healing is to bring you back to your inherent ability to enjoy connection with yourself and others with respect, love and delight. It is based on your natural capacity for pleasure and choice, and is a gateway to a new experience of yourself and your relationships.

Healing around sensuality and sexuality can bring about clarity and empowerment in all areas of life, and I have seen the power of compassion and affirmation wipe away years of shame and confusion. Your sexuality is a deep source of creativity and joy, and pleasure is a powerful healer.

I think of healing as gaining access to all of ourselves. Yes, even those parts of us we might not like so much, or hardly know at all. When we have hidden part of our self way back in the dark corner of the closet we lose our choices. For example, we all have the ability to be generous and giving, and also to strongly affirm our desires and limits. If we can access only one side of that balance, we are stuck with being giving when we need to be firm, or firm when we need to be giving.

Healing means we find that part hiding in the dark, bring it out, and welcome it back home. The wonderful surprise is that that part always has something to teach us. It enriches our lives and opens new possibilities. Every time.

The most powerful factor for healing is very simple – attention. Receiving loving attention from another human being is the most powerful way to learn to accept yourself – including those surprises in the closet.

Attention takes many forms. Sometimes listening, sometimes touch, sometimes witnessing your experience, sometimes accompanying you into a deeper place than you could go alone. Or guiding you to a place you didn’t even know was there. Sometimes a specific skill or technique is called on; other times simply being with you and accepting you as you feel whatever you feel.

When you cut your hand, you wash it, cover it, and let nature take its mysterious course. When you break your heart, you naturally seek attention, and as you open yourself to receive it, you allow nature to take an even more mysterious course. You bring yourself back home.